Nerves...

So we had our first performance of Swan Lake tonight,

and one of the parts i was dancing was the pas de trois,

a part i danced last season and really enjoy.

I'm comfortable in the role and it feels good to dance it...

well...normally...

but today about 5 minutes before the performance

started i had a mini/major attack of The Nerves.

The Nerves

have not been a round for a long time,

i've learned to control them,

because i know that when i dance nervous,

well.....i dont dance good.

But today i got it into my head that i couldn't do one of the pirouettes in my variation

just moments before the curtain was about to go up

(that by the way i can normally always do)

and each time i practised it, it got worse and worse.

So by the time that i actually performed it i was so

tense that there was no way it was going to happen.

and it didnt.

Cue me in the wings between numbers,

crying and shaking and trying to get a hold of myself.

it didnt work....

thankfully by the 2nd act i had calmed down

and my 2nd solo went pretty well.

ooooohhhhhh....

i'm just so angry at myself....

and i dont want to face my teacher tomorrow...