So we had our first performance of Swan Lake tonight,
and one of the parts i was dancing was the pas de trois,
a part i danced last season and really enjoy.
I'm comfortable in the role and it feels good to dance it...
but today about 5 minutes before the performance
started i had a mini/major attack of The Nerves.
have not been a round for a long time,
i've learned to control them,
because i know that when i dance nervous,
well.....i dont dance good.
But today i got it into my head that i couldn't do one of the pirouettes in my variation
just moments before the curtain was about to go up
(that by the way i can normally always do)
and each time i practised it, it got worse and worse.
So by the time that i actually performed it i was so
tense that there was no way it was going to happen.
and it didnt.
Cue me in the wings between numbers,
crying and shaking and trying to get a hold of myself.
it didnt work....
thankfully by the 2nd act i had calmed down
and my 2nd solo went pretty well.
i'm just so angry at myself....
and i dont want to face my teacher tomorrow...