Pain in the back....

I always thought that when i stopped dancing all my aches and pains would go away.

Turns out its not that easy.

For the last year and a half i've had aches and pains all over!

some of it is my body adapting to a new life style,

others are left over problems that i never properly sorted out.

Mainly i've been having re-occuring back pain.

It comes and goes some days i'm bedridden and other days its back to norm.

Coming from my dance background it s very hard for me to teach without getting physically involved myself.

my husband always tries to tell me that i should take it easy when i teach, no demonstrating full out to 2 year olds! i explain to him they are the worst culprits for needing to be taught visually.

after a bout of back pain recently that just frustrates me more than anything

(im used to being in pain)

the physio finally persuaded me to go to the Doctor and have a scan.

So thanks to husbands private work medical insurance,

i very speedily got a MRI done.

Unfortunately it did show up some disk degeneration and bulging,

but fortunately nothing that has affected the nerves or bone as of yet.

So i feel so releaved to have some actual proof that my back pain isnt just me whining like an old lady all the time.

Looking at all these pretty ballet pictures at the moment 

just makes me think of their poor spines!

Back in the studio.....

Spending long days back in the studio

is hard work.....

but not quite so hard as full time ballerina-ing.

the focus no longer being on me and what i can do,

but instead re-thinking

 how do you do a step?

how do you teach it?

how do you inspire?

what is important as a teacher?

what kind of teacher do i want to be?

I feel all the old aches and pains come creeping back in,

reminding me why i choose to stop putting so much pressure on my body.

But i still love dancing.

in fact i think i've re-discovered it.

Choosing in my spare time to go to one of the

open classes in London 

just to move and enjoy myself,

no stresses, no worries.

and no regrets.

we also have a lot of different personalties on the course

but some how we all seem to mesh pretty well together.

I think we each have respect for each others 

backgrounds and are all going through the

same transitional phase 

and its great to have people around you

who can empathise.

Swan Laking.....

So as i've been preparing for my Swan Lake workshop

this weekend, here is what i have realised...

i know Swan Lake choreography 

inside out and backwards.

All the different version,

all the different parts,

all the parts i've never even danced.

even the mens parts.

I guess 10 years of rehearsals 

kinda embedded it into my brain.

So here are some pictures of some of those old performances....

Nutcrackerless....

I was on facebook the other day

and it suddenly hit me looking at a lot of my friends posts,

that this year i am not doing Nutcracker.

They are all in the midst of the annually 

Tchaikovsky-Christmas-Fest

and this year,

for the first time in about 10years

i am Nutcracker free.

And how does that make me feel...

well....

it makes me feel just dandy actually.

it took me until nearly the end of the month to even notice!

and if i look back to this time last year the emotional 

pain i was going through

and the physical

  pain i was going through 

i just dont miss that at all.

I miss being in the theatre a bit with friends,

but i dont miss the politcs or pain.

In fact as i mentioned before

all i really miss is the physicality of it,

not the lifestyle at all.

last few nights i had real trouble sleeping,

i ended up watching this documentary

about the English National Ballet.

Its FANTASTIC!

it gives such a real insight into studio life.

thats the first part 

you can find the other two on youtube as well.

Ballerina on a boat....

One of the things i've been struggling with whilst on the boat is keeping fit.

Whilst i was dancing i never really thought about it...

well..because i was exercising for hours a day,

i didnt need to thinking about keeping fit,

i was fit!

now i need to pay more attention.

when we are sailing around it is nigh on impossible to

do any exercise.

so when we get off i make it a priority to see what i can do about it.

i like to look for local adult ballet classes,

mainly because ballet is still my chosen form of exercise...

but they are far and few inbetween.

when we were in Liverpool i found a good school

with a young ex-professional dancer trying to start up a 

few adult dance classes.

he was really good at all levels

(i went to his beginner and intermediate classes)

but other than that in most places i havent found anything.

i try and do a little ballet barre work out myself on occasion,

and boy oh boy!

am i unfit,

what would have been easy peasy for me a few months ago

is pretty tiring and dificult.

my body is already stiffening up

and my muscles relaxing.

i guess i've got to find other ways of exercising that entertain me.

I do the occasional pilates excercises,

which i enjoy and work my body in the way that i am used to,

but at the same time does nothing for my cardio.

When we were in Slovenia i jumped on the running machine at the hotel gym.

let me tell you this....

i've never been on a running machine in my life...

and i nearly died.

i lasted about 15mins at a fairly average pace before collapsing on the floor.

(but i always think dancers have crap stamina anyway

we do a lot of short bursts)

and i look for a swimming pool where ever i can to 

go for a swim,

as its a far easier way to keep up my stamina

(but that is also not easy to find when you are travelling around)

oh well...

its definitely interesting feeling how my body is changing.

its been used to being a dancer for the last 25 years or so...

so it is a big adaptation...

i'll keep you posted!!!!!

On horses and swimming....

We are currrently moored in a tiny little village in Dorset called Hamble.

Its quite cute, and if you go out in the evening all the locals get dressed up in their posh gear to go out for dinner at the two local restaraunts.

(something Tim failed to tell me on our first night out, where i wore what i had worn 

on the bus on the way down, i felt very out of place)

Anyhows, been feeling a little bit lazy.

So Tim and i have been visiting the local swimming pool in the evenings on occasion.

To get there we have to walk through a big field which has lots of friendly horses in it.

Like this dude with his moustache.

and this wee horsey that reminds me of all my My Little Ponies.

I love watching the swimming on the Olympics....

mainly because its an easy sport to understand, 

the person who goes the fastest wins.

Although being in the pool myself makes me realise just how hard it is.

I have absolutely no stamina.

Dancers tend not to,

 as most of our work is done in short little bursts.

There were a couple of old ladies in that pool who

 were most definitely out swimming me

as i took a pause to catch my breathe every now

 and then and they kept on soldiering on.

I guess my Gold will just have to wait.

Life goes on......

It's kind of strange to think that this life on the boat is my future for the time being.

It feels like i'm a little bit on holiday mode and at the end of 6weeks i'll be flying back to where ever

to go back to my normal life of spinning around in the studio.

Yesterday Captain Tim took me out shopping to buy all my Sailor Outfits....

not quite the cure little dresses i had in mind.

More like anoraks and fleeces and lots of thermal underwear....

hmmm....and here was me thinking i'd just be lazing around in a bikini.

I'm also working hard on learning my knots....

i kid you (k)not.

Its so cliche, sitting around learning my reef knots,

bowlines and figures of eights.

Hmmmm.....life is strange.

Finding Shoes that Fit....

Well, hanging up my ballet shoes didnt last all that long...

being in London i popped into the famous Pineapple studios to do a ballet class.

I t took me back to those days when i used frequent the studios here daily when i was living in London and looking for wrok and auditioning.

Back then it was a drag....a thing i had to do to survive.

 Now it was purely for pleasure.

Looking around all those young fresh-out-of-ballet-school girls

 i didnt envy them one bit.

But i did enjoy myself.

i've struggled for the last couple of years to enjoy the ballet classes in Egypt

 because the Russian Style of the classes was just so far from my roots and my training,

 and so it felt a bit like putting on a comfortable pair of shoes today....

it fitted much better.

(i think the shoe reference is coming from the fact that i got blisters from wearing a pair of new shoes whilst walking around London today....they were too small, and OOOWWWYYY!)

London Baby!!!!

I'm in London.

Its cold and rainy,

i had to go out and buy myself some trousers and a pair of shoes that weren't sandals.

But i LOVE it, 

been living in a drought for too long now.

Hung out with 2 of my London Sisters today,

and i'm soooooo excited because i bought an Engagment Ring today.

(more on that later)

I also bought myself a honeymoon dress....which is basically a mini-wedding dress...

ummm maybe cause i'm an over-excitable Bride-To-Be...